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Adultery and Alcohol

Adultery and Alcohol

An elderly doctor and a Baptist minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The plane was delayed at the start due to some technical problems. Just after taking off, the pilot offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round of free drinks would be served.

When the charming hostess came round with the trolley, the doctor ordered a gin and tonic for himself. The hostess then asked the minister whether he wanted anything.

He replied, "Oh No! Thank you. I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."

The elderly doctor promptly handed his gin and tonic back to the hostess said, "Madam, I did not know there was a choice."




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Loving on the Lawn

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood.

Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.

He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.

"This is a brothel", replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

Gold Medalist

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, "I think my husband is like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."

The second woman said, "My husband is like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."

The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."

She thought for a moment and said, "My husband is like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."

"How so?"

"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."

After Jail

Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car.

The only thing he said was, "F.F."

His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."

Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."

She responded simply, "E.F."

He repeated, "F.F."

She again replied, "E.F."

"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?"

Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"

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