I got married because...
Two men are talking. The first says, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes."
"Amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very same reasons."
More Marriage Jokes
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
While at the fairgrounds, a woman wanted to take a ride on the Ferris wheel before heading home. Her husband waited while she took a spin. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the woman was thrown out. She landed in a heap at her husband's feet.
He gasped and bent down. "Are you hurt?" he asked.
"Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once."
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the state lottery!"
Martha replies, "Should I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man says, "I don't care. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon."