One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'pe*nis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face.

Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'pe*nis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word. Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"

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Enjoying Life

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed to struggle through life and eventually graduate from college. Due to his severe handicap he couldn't get a job. Finally Horace became frustrated at being turned down all the time and he decided that life as a handicapped person wasn't worth living. He was about to jump off a tall building when he looked down and saw a parade going by.

There was this one guy in the parade and he was having a blast, dancing and jumping and really moving but he had no arms at all. Well Horace said to himself, 'I got one arm and I'm up here trying to kill myself while that fellow has none and he's having a great time.' Horace had to find out this guy's secret to enjoying life with such a disability.

So he came off the building and caught up with the guy in the parade, still dancing and jumping, and he said 'Hey man, I think you just saved my life. I got one arm and I'm so miserable and here you have none and you're having a great time. What's your secret man?'

The man still fidgeting about just looked at Horace and said 'What the hell you talking about fool, I've been trying to scratch my balls for the past three hours by jumping up and down.


A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back."

Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today and I
don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and read it and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor.

So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - two with sausage and meatballs, two without sausage."

Butter & Legs

Q: What's the similarity between butter and a girl's legs?

A: Both have to be spread before use.

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