Bada Faayda

Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!

Wife: Woh kya?

Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!

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Jhoot Pakarne Wali Machine

Ek dost doosre dost se: "Kya, tumne jhoot pakarne wali machine dekhi hai?

Doosra dost: Deki nahi mere paas mein hai!

Pehla Dost : Tere paas kahan se aayi.

Doosra Dost : Arre maine to usse shadi ki hai."

Have an Affair

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.
Doug suggests, "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"
"But what if my wife finds out?" asks Bill.
"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!" said Doug.
So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that? it didn't work."

Divorce Can Wait

A wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I.

Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getting the feeling that he's screwing his secretary. I can't eat, I can't fact, I've already lost eight pounds this month alone!"

"Well, why don't you dump the bastard?!?" her friend said.

To which the wife replied, "Oh, I plan to do that, but first I want to get my weight down to 115 pounds."

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