Saving a President

Saving a President

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Bush. "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.
"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said Bush. "And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"

"No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning."

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Application Form

Application Form For Lok Sabha Election

1. Name of Candidate: ____________

1. Name of Candidate: ____________ _________

2.Present Address:
(i.)Name of Jail: ____________ _________
(ii.)Cell Number: ____________ _________

3.Political Party: ____________ _________

*List ONLY the Last Five parties in Chronological (Order)

4.Nationality: [ ]
A- Italian
B- Indian

5.Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A- Defected
B- Expelled
C- Bought out
D- None of above
E- All of above

6.Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A- To make money
B- To escape court trial
C- To grossly misuse power
D- To serve the public
E- I have no clue
(If you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a
Recognized Government Psychiatrist)

7.How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A- 1-2 yrs
B- 2-6yrs
C- 6-15yrs
D- 15+yrs

8.Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)

9.How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Do not confuse with question 8)
A- 1-2 years
B- 2-6 years
C- 6-15 years
D- 15+years

10.Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A- Why not
B- Of Course
C- Definitely
D- I deny it all
E- I see a foreign hand.

11. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A- 100-500 Crores
B- 500-1000 Crores
C- Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

12. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A- No
B- No
C- No
D- No

13.Describe your achievements in space provided:

Issued in public interest by Election Commission of India.

Diplomat Wants Water

An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.The Emir was angry and shouted " Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?".

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "white man sit on well." (the shit pot!)

Working For The Government

You know you work for the government when:

* The process becomes more important than the product.

* You don''t see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.

* You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.

* You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them.

* You fly first class across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money.

* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.

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