Wild at Sex

This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a native shopkeeper say, "You foreigners! Come in.
Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in.

The Indian man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but
her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Indian man replied, "Just try dem on, Sahib." The husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years-raw sexual power.

In a blink of an eye, the husband pushed his wife out of the way, grabbed the Indian man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man's pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Indian's thighs. The Indian then began screaming, "WAIT!!! WAIT!!! WAIT!!!! YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"

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A Zamindar's whose Son has just turned 18, catches the boy sneak home late one night. Upon questioning him about his nocturnal activities he gets the following response.

"bapu, tu budha ho gaya hai, main jawan chorion ke saath maze le raha tha"

The Zamindar Challenges the boy, "Are chore, mai bhi tera baap hoon, agli baar mujh ko apni ungli ke mehak de dena, chori ki life history bata doonga " (let me smell your finger next time- and I'll tell you all about the girl you were with)

The next day the son comes home and makes the Father Smell his finger. "Ram Pyari, gali number 14, bade mamme wali etc.. etc.." Gives him all the details of this chick he was humping by just smelling his finger.

Next day:-
"Kalawati, etc.. "

This exercises carries on all week, and the Son is unable to stump his father, who it appears has humped all the women in the village so many times that he can identify them by their scent.

A week later the Son; who is extremely dejected, spends the evening drinking with his friends - lamenting. This whole experience has squashed his ego, it is something he did not expect from his old man.

He is staggering home drunk, when he remembers the challenge with his dad. Not having done anything that night, he dips his finger into a goat's **** at a neighbors farm. He then goes home and says to his father:

"Are bapu, yeh le sungh, aur bata ke mai kis ke sath tha"? (lets see if you can identify this one)

The Zamindar smells his son's finger, and is confused. But he seems quite happy at last and shouts out to his driver.

"Ram Singh- Gadi nikalo, Gaon me naya maal aaya hai"

It's a Bird

One day Jagan Nath comes home from work extremely tired. He pours himself a few shots of whiskey, undoes his trousers, and sinks into his favorite sexual fantasy. His 5 year old daughter; Guddi, comes up to him and grabbing his member asks him "Papa papa yeh kya hai"

Jagan is in no mood for all this and quickly answers " bete, chidia hai " (it's a bird)

Saying this He shifts back to his 'Fantasy'.

The real world awaits Jagan when he comes to, he is in a cast upto his chest. There is an oxygen tent around his face. He is being given a blood transfusion. Basically, it seems as though he is on the critical list. After showing some signs of life, the Nurse removes his oxygen mask. Jagan begins to mumble.

Jagan: "mai kahan hoon, aur yeh sab kaise hua "? (Where am I, and what happend to me)?

Doctor: "aap hospital mein hain, aur jab humne aap ko es haal mein paya, wahaan aapke bacchi majood thi. Usko sab maloom hoga "

Jagan: "Munni beta kya hua tha papa ko batao"

Munni: "Pappa pappa, hum chidia ke saath khel reha thai na ...........to accanak se chidiya ne humpe thook diya!

.......Humko bada gussa aaya, humne chidia ke gardan marodh de, ande todh deye, aur ghonsle mein aag laga de.

Durable Condoms

An Indian Chief sent his second in command down to the nearby paleface town to buy a pack of condoms. His ADC goes into the drugstore and tells the chemist "How! Um big chief need heap big Rubber!" The chemist gives him a pack of condoms and sends him on his way. The next day, the Indian comes back and throws what's left of the pack of condoms on the counter, complaining. "Um rubbers no good! Chief do Ooh-Ahh and rubber goes boom!"

The chemist hands him another pack of condoms, assures him that they would be more durable and sends him on his way! The next day, the Indian comes back, throws the remnants of the pack of condoms on the counter, and says "These no good! Um chief do Ooh-Aah, and they go boom!"

The chemist, who's patience was beginning to wear, pacifies they Indian, retreats to the rear of his store and wraps an the barrel of a double barrel rifle with a condom. He returns with the new high-durability condom to the Indian and says "Here, take this! Your chief can never make this go Boom!"

The next day, the Indian returns, looking very dejected! "Um rubber too good!", he says. "Um chief do Ooh-Ahh and his balls go BOOM!"

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