Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment.
"I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks."
Peter said, "But I could be dead by then!"
Receptionist replied, "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment. "
More Marriage Jokes
Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl.
Husband: Then what happened?
Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on..
Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then?
Wife smiled and said: I moved away from the mirror!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago?", the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked "No, I don't waste time shopping?", the homeless woman said.
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's Okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Santa: What do you want to become in your next life?
Banta: A cockroach.
Banta: Kyun ki meri biwi sirf cockroach se hi darti hai.