Right Hand

Right Hand

Your wife is your right hand...
But if your wife ran away then your right hand is your wife...

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Are They Twins

Dark ugly woman walks into a store with his two sons.

Shopkeeper surporisley asks to woman: "Are they twins?"

Woman shocked and asked: "No, why did you ask?"

Shopkeeper: "Can't believe someone fucked you twice"

A Great Actor

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "this is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line "ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he was practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger he delivered the line, "ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!

"You bloody fool!" He cried, "you have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "what happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" Screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"


An Amish lady is riding down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."

"Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals."

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"

"He said the reflector is broken."

"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"

"I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake..."

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