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Lights gone

Lights gone

One day the lights in a girls hostel go out, the girls call the Matron.

Girls: lights gone, send men.
Matron: Men not available, use candles.




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Like a Pen*s

Why Internet is Like a Penis

Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before

Profession

Three friends boarded a housefull bus. Some how they sneaked their way in the centre of the bus. They stopped besides a seat which was occupied by three girls.

The girls offered them seat on one condition..that they (girls) will seat on their (men) laps after having the seat. The men agreed to the condition and had the seat and the girls on their lap as well.

After some time one girl said to the man on whose lap she was sitting, "Are you an electrical engineer?". The man was surprised and replied "yes but how did you know that."

The girl replied "I am receiving shocks from your solder gun".

After some time another girl asked to the man on whose lap she was sitting, "Are you a mechanical engineer." The man was also surprised and replied "yes but how did you know that."

On that the girl replied "your piston is hurting my cylinder."

After some time the third girl asked her man if he was a civil engineer. The man was also surprised and asked her how she knew that.

The girl replied "Your dam has broken and flooded my village."

Potential and reality

A son asked his father: "Dad, what's the difference between potential and reality ?" (a question he was asked at school)

His father replied: "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for a million bucks."

The son did this and returned that his mother would sleep with the milkman for a million bucks.

His father said: "Now go ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for a million dollars." The son did this and later replied: "Sis said that she too would sleep with the milkman for a million bucks."

His father then said: "Go ask your brother if he would sleep with the milkman for a million bucks."

The son getting rather irritated did this. He returned and said: "Ivor also said that he would sleep with the milkman for a million bucks.

I am getting tired of asking people if they will sleep with the milkman. Please tell me what's the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looked at him and said: "This family has the potential to make $3,000,000, but the reality is that we have two sluts and a homo in the family."

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