First Bl0W Job
A guy walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of Jack Daniels and slams them all down in a flash. He looks at the bartender and orders 3 more and does the same thing. By now the bartender is wondering what is wrong with this guy so he asks him what his problem is. The guy looks up and says " I don't have a problem, I'm celebrating my first blow job!" The bartender looks with a smile and says," well that's just dandy, let me get the next one!" "No thanks", says the guy, "if 6 shots won't wash the taste out, the 7th won't help either!!!"
More Bar Jokes
"Do U drink?" Girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law.
Son in law: 1st tell me whether it is a question or an invitation;
Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie.
It says, "I will give you three wishes." Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill.
The genie asks about his next two wishes.
Santa says, "I want two more of these."
Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "This guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender, "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. Santa takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch.
Again, same reaction from Santa. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. Santa takes a sip and is most satisfied.
All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkenly says, "Hey mishter, tashte this!"
Santa obliges...he promptly spits it out. "It tastes like piss," Santa shoots back at the drunk.
The drunk replies: "It ish. Now tell me how old am I ?"