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The Wager

The Wager

A man walks to the bartender and bets $100 that he can piss into a shot glass placed on the opposite end of the bar and not spill a drop. The bartender takes the bet and sets up the shot glass. The man then starts pissing all over the bar, not even close the shot glass.
The bartender starts jumping up and down, yelling "Yahoo!" Another man at the back of the bar suddenly grabs a chair and, swearing loudly, smashes it against the wall. The bartender says, "What's with him?" The man replies, "Oh, I just bet him a thousand dollars that I could piss all over your bar and make you happy."




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Were You Drinking

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After examining the man he says,
"Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Fake Eye

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here you can't be blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.

How Long?

This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork.
"About two hours," says the conductor.
"OK," says the drunk "then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?"
The irate driver says to the drunk "It's still about two hours. Why'd you think there'd be a difference?"
"Well," says the drunk, "It's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and Christmas!"

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