Condom Size

Condom Size

A sixty year old man walks into a drug store and walks up to the girl at checkout #3. He asks her, "Do you guys have condoms here?" She says "Sure. What size are you?" "I don't know" he replies. "Well, just let me check" the cashier says. She unzips his pants, takes a feel, and then she says over the intercom, "EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3 PLEASE. EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3." They bring the condoms and the man pays for them and leaves.

Then, a thirty year old man walks into the store and up to checkout #3. He asks the girl, "Do you sell condoms here?" The cashier replies, "Sure, but what size do you need?" He says "Well, I don't know." She says "Just let me check here." She unzips his pants, takes a couple of tugs and then says over the intercom, "LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3 PLEASE. LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3." They bring the condoms and the man pays for them and leaves.

Seeing this, a fifteen year old boy who hopes to get lucky walks up to the girl at checkout #3 and asks sheepishly, "Um, ah, do you guys sell any condoms here?" "Yep" she says. "What size do you need?" "I don't know" he says. She unzips his zipper for a feel, pauses and says over the intercom, "CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3 PLEASE. CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3".

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Do you know what I'm doing?

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all professionalism immediately goes out the window.

Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this, he says to the woman, "Do you know what I am doing?"

"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That is correct," says the doctor.

He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he says.

"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That's right," replies the doctor.

He then begins to have sex with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes.

Lights gone

One day the lights in a girls hostel go out, the girls call the Matron.

Girls: lights gone, send men.
Matron: Men not available, use candles.

Like a Pen*s

Why Internet is Like a Penis

Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before

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