Positive Attitude

Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar us mein ek sikka daal deti hai.
Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai: "Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do"

HONEYMOON
H - Hawas mita do
O - Or chuso
N - Nanga karke
E - Ek hi jhatke mein
Y - Yeh gaya
M - Maar dala
O - Or dalo
O - Or tez
N- Ni..k..a..l g..a. y..a

A biker walks into a yuppie bar. He orders a shot and a beer and drinks them down. Then he stands up, turns around and yells "All attorneys are assholes." Well this one guy comes right up to him and says "You take that back right now!" The biker says "Why, are you an attorney?" He replies "No, I'm an asshole"