Some Facts

Some Facts

o Behind every successful man there is a great woman and behind every great woman there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
o If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
o Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
o Avoid rape - say yes.
o A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
o The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
o Thou shalt not commit adultery...unless in the mood.
o The best thing about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.
o Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
o Assassins do it from behind.
o Chess players mate better.
o Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
o Good girls spit, Bad girls swallow, Naughty girls gargle.
o Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and the all stink.
o Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.
o If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.
o Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
o When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
o Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
o Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
o My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex,she objects.
o Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
o If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
o Her kisses left something to be desired the rest of her.
o Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!.
o Sex is an emotion in motion.
o For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
o There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
o Anatomy is something everybody's got, but sure looks better on a woman.
o The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night.
o If he won't wear a condom, staple his willy at the end. That'll make him think. Sorta....
o I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with.
o Love without sex is like cooking without eating, but be careful because sex without condom is like driving a car without breaks!.
o I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
o The most enjoyable form of sex education is the braille method.
o Prostitution is a hole sale business.
o Lets all be considerate towards animal and let all the cocks meet the pussies of their choice.

More Sexy Jokes

Bitten on the Ass

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town and find a doctor," said the man to his poor companion.
He runs ten miles into to town and find's the doctor's office. The doctor is delivering a baby at that moment.
"I can't leave, son, but here's what to do," said the doctor, "Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it out onto the ground."
The man dashes back to his agonizing friend.
"What did he say?!" said the poor fellow.
"He says you're gonna die."

Started Loving a Boy

Girl 2 Mom: Mom I have started loving a Boy!
Mom angry: What?? How old is he? What does he do?
Girl: He is 3 months old. Happily kicking in my stomach.

Dress - Up or Down

Boy: Men dress up to been seen by others.
Girl: Laughs and says girls dress down to be seen by others.

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