Advantages of Being A Woman

Advantages of Being A Woman

Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

More Sexy Jokes

Some Facts

o Behind every successful man there is a great woman and behind every great woman there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
o If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
o Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
o Avoid rape - say yes.
o A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
o The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
o Thou shalt not commit adultery...unless in the mood.
o The best thing about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.
o Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
o Assassins do it from behind.
o Chess players mate better.
o Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
o Good girls spit, Bad girls swallow, Naughty girls gargle.
o Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and the all stink.
o Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.
o If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.
o Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
o When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
o Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
o Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
o My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex,she objects.
o Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
o If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
o Her kisses left something to be desired ó the rest of her.
o Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!.
o Sex is an emotion in motion.
o For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
o There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
o Anatomy is something everybody's got, but sure looks better on a woman.
o The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night.
o If he won't wear a condom, staple his willy at the end. That'll make him think. Sorta....
o I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with.
o Love without sex is like cooking without eating, but be careful because sex without condom is like driving a car without breaks!.
o I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
o The most enjoyable form of sex education is the braille method.
o Prostitution is a hole sale business.
o Lets all be considerate towards animal and let all the cocks meet the pussies of their choice.

Bitten on the Ass

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town and find a doctor," said the man to his poor companion.
He runs ten miles into to town and find's the doctor's office. The doctor is delivering a baby at that moment.
"I can't leave, son, but here's what to do," said the doctor, "Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it out onto the ground."
The man dashes back to his agonizing friend.
"What did he say?!" said the poor fellow.
"He says you're gonna die."

Started Loving a Boy

Girl 2 Mom: Mom I have started loving a Boy!
Mom angry: What?? How old is he? What does he do?
Girl: He is 3 months old. Happily kicking in my stomach.

Show More Sexy Jokes