Blown UP

Once after a war the commander of a small batallion of the italian army comes back home defeated, his wife has grown really hot in his absence. So as soon as she sees him coming she wears a miniskirt and stands at the doorway, suddenly breeze flows and the skirt is lifted seeing this the lady says "SEE WHAT THE WIND HAS BLOWN UP"

This continues for a couple more times, the commander gets frustrated at this, he puts down his pants and underwear and shouts "SEE WHAT THE GERMANS HAVE BLOWN UP"




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Sex Education

A math teacher gets called to the principal's office one day and the principal says to him, "We need a new Sex-Ed teacher and you are it."

The Math teacher exclaims, "But I have never taught Sex-Ed before what am I going do?"

The principal replies, "Well, you have until Monday to think of something, because that is when the class starts."

The math teacher decides that he is going to use flash cards to teach the Sex-Ed class, because they have worked extremely well in teaching his math class.

On Monday morning, the teacher is feeling very confidant. He walks into the room, and begins to teach the class. He holds up the first flash card and asks, "Can anybody tell me what this is?"

Little Jill stands up and replies, "That's a breast and my mommy has two."

The math teacher says, "That's right Jill! It is a breast, and your mommy does have two."

The math teacher grabs the next flash card and asks, "Can anybody tell me what this is?

Little Bobby raises his hand and replies, "I know. That is a dick, and my daddy has two."

The math teacher says, "That's right Bobby it is a dick, but your daddy only has one."

Little Bobby stands up and says, "Nope my daddy has two! He has a small one that he uses to pee, and a big one that he brushes mommy's teeth with!

No Erection

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Sharma, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, "Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Sharma."

The woman obliged and removed her clothing.

"Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on."

While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said to the man. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Condom Size

A sixty year old man walks into a drug store and walks up to the girl at checkout #3. He asks her, "Do you guys have condoms here?" She says "Sure. What size are you?" "I don't know" he replies. "Well, just let me check" the cashier says. She unzips his pants, takes a feel, and then she says over the intercom, "EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3 PLEASE. EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3." They bring the condoms and the man pays for them and leaves.

Then, a thirty year old man walks into the store and up to checkout #3. He asks the girl, "Do you sell condoms here?" The cashier replies, "Sure, but what size do you need?" He says "Well, I don't know." She says "Just let me check here." She unzips his pants, takes a couple of tugs and then says over the intercom, "LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3 PLEASE. LARGE CONDOMS TO AISLE 3." They bring the condoms and the man pays for them and leaves.

Seeing this, a fifteen year old boy who hopes to get lucky walks up to the girl at checkout #3 and asks sheepishly, "Um, ah, do you guys sell any condoms here?" "Yep" she says. "What size do you need?" "I don't know" he says. She unzips his zipper for a feel, pauses and says over the intercom, "CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3 PLEASE. CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3".

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