A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and it sucked her in.
More Blonde Jokes
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was an exciting game too, a real nail biter. You simply couldn't have asked for a better game to take someone to for their first time.
After the game, he asked her if she had a good time.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tightpants and all the big muscles, but... I just couldn't understand why they were all killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
She went looking for the three guys.
Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?
She thought her maxi pad had wings.