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With My Teacher

With My Teacher

Kid comes home from school and his mother asks him, "How was school son?" He replies, "It wasn't good at all Mom, I had sex with my teacher." She blows up and tells him to go imediately to his room. His father gets home and walks into his room to find he is looking at some porno mags and says to his son, "You had sex with your teacher son?" Kid replies, "Yeah it wasn't good." The father says well your only 14 years old and you have done a good job, well go tomorrow and get that new bike you have always wanted. They get there the next day and get it bought. Then the father asks him, "Do you want to ride it home or just put it in the back of the truck? "The kid replies, "I better just put it in the back of the truck." They get into the truck and the father asks his son, "So why didn't you wanna ride it home?" The son tells him, "Because Mr. Green got me in the butt pretty hard yesterday."




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Twinkies

One day a young boy finds a condom on the floor. He brings is to his father and asks what is it. His father replies,"Oh, that's a twinkie. Son if you find anymore bring them to me and I'll give you a quarter.The next week the little boy returned to his mother's house with a lot of quarters. His mother asks, "Where did you get all those quarters?" The little boy answered, "Daddy gave them to me for finding twinkies for him. But what he doesn't know is, before I gave Daddy the twinkies, I sucked all the cream filling out.

Fine

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"

Faster Than Girls

Q. Why are guys faster than girls?
A. They have a stick shift and ball bearings.

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