Bill Gates, Andrew Grove from Intel and Jerry Sanders from AMD are having a conference. Suddenly Bill Gates starts to talk to his watchc Grove and Sanders are surprised. "Thats the new telephone feature from Microsoft at Work it comes with Windows96 describes Bill Gates. Five minutes later Andy Groves interrupts the conference. "Sorry, itfs a call" and starts to talk very silent. "Thatfs the newest Intel-Product. A satellite-telephone in my tooth."Just a few seconds lets out a loud fart: "Give me some paper ! Ifm receiving a fax!
More Computer Jokes
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (The woodcutter and the Axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium machine!!
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle in the surf.
He pulls out the cork and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 100 years. As a reward you can make a wish."
Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East.
The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?"
Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us.
The Genie says, Let me see that map again.
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
Difficult to access.
Always busy when you need her.
She is always faster and faster.
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.