An old man was having some stomach problems so his doctor told him to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of the week the old man returns and said he was feeling much worse. 'Really?' said the doctor. 'And did you drink the salt water one hour before breakfast each day?' 'No,' replied the old man. 'I could only drink it for 20 minutes.'

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You are Pregnant

A doctor is walking down a hospital ward when he hears a shriek and hears a nun running out of another doctor's office. Curious, he steps in to find out what's going on. 'Oh, I just told that nun she's pregnant,' says the second doctor. 'My God, is she?' asks the first doctor. 'Of course not,' says the second doctor. 'But it cured her hiccups.'

Rubber Gloves

A surgical patient wakes up after an operation and is told that he's got to be opened up again. It seems that the surgical team has left a pair of rubber gloves inside him. The patient says, 'Couldn't I just pay for them?'


A beautiful young girl is about to undergo an operation. She's laid into a trolley and wheeled into the corridor. The nurse leaves her outside the operating theater and goes to tell the surgeon she's ready. A young man in a white coat comes over, lifts up the girl's sheet and examines her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and performs the same examination. Then a third man comes over and lifts the sheet. The girl loses her temper, 'Are these examinations strictly necessary?' she complains. 'I've no idea,' replies the man. 'We're just here to paint the ceiling.'

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