An old man was having some stomach problems so his doctor told him to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of the week the old man returns and said he was feeling much worse. 'Really?' said the doctor. 'And did you drink the salt water one hour before breakfast each day?' 'No,' replied the old man. 'I could only drink it for 20 minutes.'
Stick Your Tongue Out
Doctor to patient: 'Don't forget to stick your tongue out when the nurse comes.'
Doctor: 'I don't like her'
More Medical Jokes
A doctor is walking down a hospital ward when he hears a shriek and hears a nun running out of another doctor's office. Curious, he steps in to find out what's going on. 'Oh, I just told that nun she's pregnant,' says the second doctor. 'My God, is she?' asks the first doctor. 'Of course not,' says the second doctor. 'But it cured her hiccups.'
A surgical patient wakes up after an operation and is told that he's got to be opened up again. It seems that the surgical team has left a pair of rubber gloves inside him. The patient says, 'Couldn't I just pay for them?'