After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turned to the jury foreman and asked, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes, we have, your honor," The foreman responded.
"Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge read the verdict himself, he delivered the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructed the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.
The family and friends of the defendant jumped for joy at the verdict and hugged each other as they shouted expressions of gratitude.
The man's attorney turned to his client and asked, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant, with a bewildered look on his face, turned to his attorney and asked, "Well, does that mean I can keep the money or do I have to give it back?"
More Funny Jokes
A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
The fellow says, "Sand!"
The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border.
Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated...
"What have you there?"
"We want to examine."
Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again.
Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up. However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything what were you smuggling?"
The fellow says, "Bicycles."
One beautiful autumn day, a Park Ranger discovered a man sitting in the woods chewing away on a dead Bald Eagle. "Hey mister, the Bald Eagle is a protected species, and killing one is punishable offence", said the Park Ranger.
The man was swiftly arrested, and ushered before the judge.
In court, he pleaded innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle, he may not find any more food for many days.
"I was so hungry" complained the defensive camper, "the Bald Eagle was the only food I could find!"
To everyone's amazement, the judge ruled in his favor.
In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle nor ever plan on it. But I'd like to know: What did it taste like?"
The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a Whooping Crane and a Spotted Owl (Both are Endangered Species)."
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. Upon the third night they had gone to bed, something new had happened. As they were lying there looking up at the sky, Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."