I am a moth
A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "I need your help, doctor. I think I'm a moth."
The doctor says, "You don't need a doctor. You need a psychiatrist."
The man says, "I know. But your light was on."
More Medical Jokes
After an operation the doctor came into the patent's room to explain to the still groggy man that the operation to amputate his leg had been a complete success.
"The operation went quickly, the stitching went fine and you show signs of a quick recovery from the operation. You'll be able to pick out a prosthetic leg as soon we have completed your second operation."
The patient looked very puzzled and asked, "What second operation?"
The doctor replied, "This operation we accidentally removed the wrong leg."
A woman called Mount Sainai Hospital. She said "Mount Sainai Hospital? Hello, Darling. I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse. I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."
The voice on the other line said "Would you hold the line please, that's a very unusual request." Then a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"
She said: "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
He said "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Farber, Feinberg — Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving as she is, he is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."
The woman said "Oh, thank you! That's wonderful! She's going home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's wonderful news."
The guy on the other end says: "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family members."
She said, "Close family member? I'm Sarah Finkel! My doctor doesn't tell me anything."
One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor.
"No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.
An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'."
"Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors, "but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves. Besides, we don't think you are in a position to describe the sound of an elephant passing wind under water."