Mr. Smyth had just hired himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, polite and a little on the shy side.
One day while, taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. Being both shy and polite, when leaving the room she said, "Oh Mr. Smyth, did you know your barracks door is open?"
He did not understand her remark, thinking to himself that perhaps he'd erred in judgement and hired someone a little on the loopy side... but later on he happened to look down and notice that his zipper was open. Realizing what she'd meant, and being a bit of a cad himself, he decided to have some fun with her.
Calling her in, he asked her, "By the way, Miss James... when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, in a quickly witted retort that made it clear shy and polite does not always equal dumb, replied, "Why no, Mr. Smyth. All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags".
More Office Jokes
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.'
The civil engineer interrupted and said, 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world.'
The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?'
The boss at Knysna's Pick n Pay was concerned that his employees weren't giving him enough respect so he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said "I'm the Boss!" and taped it to his door.
After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his: "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!"
On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.
They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts. The American PM called for one of his man and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.
The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"
Now the German PM called out for one of his man and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.
The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"
Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.
The Trainee promptly replied, " Why the hell should I ???"
The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"