A guy was watching over his kid for nightly prayers. The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa and goodbye grandma." The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird. That night, the kid says "Goodnight mommy, daddy and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies. The father is like this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodngiht mommy and goodbye daddy." The father freaks. He's all like I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work. At the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair. He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day. She says YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!
Its not so funny when...
A man and his wife are having sex when their 10 year old son walks in and screams, "Oh my God!"
The husband says "I'll go to his room and explain to him what was going on."
When the father walks in he finds his son having sex with his grandmother.
The father screams "Oh my God!!!"
"Yeah," the son replies, "It's not so funny when it's YOUR mother!"
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After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.
The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing.
How do you do it at your age?"
The old man grinned and said, "You got to keep the old motor running."
The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman.
She said, "Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?"
The old man grinned and said, "You gotta keep the old motor running."
A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.
The same nurse was there for this birth also and after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, "Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?"
The old man replied, "It's like I've told you before, you got to keep the old motor running."
The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said:
"Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one's black."
Alright, so there are 4 gay guys in a bar looking for a seat. There is one open bar stool. What do they do? They flip it upside down and all sit!