Baseball Vs S.E.X.

Baseball Vs S.E.X.

A man watching a baseball game on TV kept switching channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple. "I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife. "For heaven's sake, watch them have sex," his wife said. "You already know how to play baseball!"

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Best Contraceptive

Two girls:- Which is the best contraceptive?- An aspirin.- ???- Take an aspirin, put it between the knees and keep it tight.

Till you shone your torch

A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies."What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies. "We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park. He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman. "It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says. "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop. The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"

Its not so funny when...

A man and his wife are having sex when their 10 year old son walks in and screams, "Oh my God!"
The husband says "I'll go to his room and explain to him what was going on."
When the father walks in he finds his son having sex with his grandmother.
The father screams "Oh my God!!!"
"Yeah," the son replies, "It's not so funny when it's YOUR mother!"

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