Kandhe Pe Bandar

Kandhe Pe Bandar

Ek pathan apne kandhe pe bandar baitha ke ja raha tha.
Paas ek bande ne puchha ye kaun sa janwar ha?
Bandar bola PATHAN.

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Sab pathan kaise mar gaye

Reporter: Khan saab platform par khare sab pathan kaise mar gaye?
Pathan: Ek elaan hua ki train platform par aa rahi hai sabne jaan bachane ke liye patri par chhalaang laga di.
Reporter: Phir aap kaise bach gaye?
Pathan: Main khudkushi ke liye patri par leta tha ye elaan suna to main platform par ja kar lait gaya.

Ramayan - Ram and Rawan

Here are two engineers, one of them has hacked others website and try to using this. Just imagine if these two engineers named accordingly their nature and other characters also in same manner. Like good man is Ram, Bad man is Rawan, Website is Seeta.com and other characters are also names from Ramayana, this is pure imagination so don't take it seriously and enjoy imagination]
Ram: Someone has hacked my website; I am not sure who is he but I am unable to access it. I must know who has done that, Laxman, Laxman [loudly].
Laxman: Yaa, what happened?
Ram: what the hell were you doing? I appointed you as the chief security software engineer and you couldn't save your first websites. Someone has hacked Seeta.com.
Laxman: Ram brother, I wasn't there at the time of hacking Seeta.com needs an Add-on on emergency basis and she was popping up "Need: Golden Deer" again and again. So I went to google.com for the same software and when I again maximized up the Seeta.com it was gone already, Raawan did it, I also disabled the download manager, software update etc using Laxman-Rekha.
Ram: Who is Rekha new joiner?
Laxman: Not bro, it's a software to prevent viruses, I developed it.
Ram: Oh you developed it, that's why!, anyway call anyone expert who can trace that how did it happen?
Laxman: I know someone named Jatayu Fadiya, who can trace the whole hacking, but in between if Raawan try to access websites Seeta.com then?
Ram: Don't Worry, Seeta.com can not allow anyone to access itself it has been made with default user Ram and with a very secure property called "Pativrataa".
You! Call Jatayu immediately.
Laxman: He is out of network area; I think he must be flying high today.
Ram: Call him continuously, and get connected as he comes little lower.
Laxman: Ok.
Laxma:n: [After sometime]: Bro we get it.
Ram: Ok mail me the detailed.
Laxman: I thought it's urgent.
Ram: ok tail me first but don't forget the mail, and also CC that mail to Bali and Arjun.
Laxman: Ram, Arjun is not available, it will come in future OS, Microsoft Mahabhatarat.
Ram: Ok, than mail Bali and inform him on mobile also that we need a support to find and destroy the hacker ASAP. Who is he anyway and why did he hack our new website?
Laxman: Talk to jatayu for that... he can explain you in detailed.
Jatayu: Hi Ram.
Ram: Hi Jatayu! What's this sound?
Jatayu: Actually I am just flying little above. Anyway for you information He is Raawan, an extraordinary mind student from Shivbhakt Institue, owner of Gold Lanka Consultancy in Srilanka, from our OSC Vibhishan we got information that Raawanalso registered a website named Seeta, but Janak rejected his plea, And one of his sister Surabankha also wanted to join your brother's firm, but Laxman rejected her in interview. That's why in frustration Raawanhacked our Seeta.com.
Ram: but how did he break Laxman's Laxam-Rekha software?
Jatayu: He used some fraud name "Swami" and as you know in your company Raghukul you can't stop someone with names like, "Swami", "Bhikchuk", "Bhakt", etc. Raghukul Reet sadaa chali aayi, "Virus Aa Jaye Par User Naa Jaye".
Ram: Thanks Jatayu, bye. Laxman Mail this to Bali also.
Laxman: ok.
Ram: [After little time] Anyway Laxman what's the status of Bali, is he progressing in right way.
Laxman: yes I talked to him they are making a mirror way to enter Rawan's server, ther are making some Ram-Setu bridge for the Path.
Ram: ok. And what else we need to get back Seeta.
Laxman: as per my knowledge, Raawan has few good software to protect his servers, one of them kumbhkaran, Who eats a lot space in installation and very slow software, but provides a good security, and another one is Meghnath, tracing Meghnath is very tough, he is having good knowledge of JAVA and makes himself invisible and than attack using Jar applications.
Ram: I think the bridge process has been completed and we are ready to attack on Kumbhkaran, Meghanath and Raawan finally.
Laxman: I am starting a SCAN using Angad and other small softwares.
Ram: Ok.
[After few minutes]
Ram: what's the status?
Laxman: Angad foot got hanged somewhere in Raawan's floor.
Ram: Make it quick, just CTRL+ALT+DEL, that process.
[After Some time]
Laxman: Hi, we cleared Kumbhkaran and Meghnath.
Ram: Good.
Laxman: But there is a problem with Raawan. His server is having 10 different DBA who are working simultaneously.
Ram: oh multi-user.
Laxman: no Multi tasking.
Ram: It's ok let me give some time to think about this.
[After little time]
Ram: Laxman, we got our website back.
Laxman: How did you do that?
Ram: I used lates Symentec Vesion during all process, which burnt Raawan's server golden mother board, also that was in contact with Seeta.com so we can have all the updates from there.
Laxman: what's that software?
Ram: Hanuman................. J
[Here Ram was happy with the Hanuman with him he cleared up all the obstacles and get Seeta.com back. Ram appraised him with new designation from friend (software engineer) to very good friend (senior software engineer), package same, Only designation changed]
Laxman: Ram! Seeta.com has two new blogs now.
Ram: What are these?
Laxman: Lav and Kush.....
[So there is always Ram and Rawan around you, sometimes within you]

Doctor ke paas

Ramu: Tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Bhola: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

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