To: All staff
From: Office Of Superintendent
Re: Teacher In Service Training Schedule (T.I.T.S.)
In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better T.I.T.S. for each employee.
We are therefore pleased to announce the implementation of the Special High Intensity Training program (S.H.I.T.). It is our intention to give each member of the staff as much S.H.I.T. as possible. Advancement, salary increases, and
job changes will be dependent on the amount of S.H.I.T. you have taken.
Employees who feel they have taken as much S.H.I.T. as they can may apply to the School Council for Review of Educational Welfare (S.C.R.E.W.). All employees are expected to be S.C.R.E.W.'d at least annually. If you have taken S.H.I.T. and have been S.C.R.E.W.'d within the past academic year, you will be eligible to receive a Self Help Award for Teachers (S.H.A.F.T.).
Any employee who has been given the S.H.A.F.T. will not be expected to take as much S.H.I.T. the following year.
The only exception to this regulation are those teachers who have Bilingual Activities in Language, Literature and Science (B.A.L.L.S.). Teachers with enough B.A.L.L.S. may avoid being S.C.R.E.W.'d annually. Teachers in this
category are eligible for courses offered by the Boston University Local Language program (B.U.L.L.). Approval for B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. courses must be obtained from the Superintendent's Office-Business (S.O.B.). Only the S.O.B. can
determine how much S.H.I.T. an employee must take before being S.C.R.E.W.'d.
Those teachers who have taken enough S.H.I.T. courses, have S.C.R.E.W.'d, and given the S.H.A.F.T. are eligible for the Regional Educational Division Award for Superior Service (R.E.D.A.S.S.). Only teachers with R.E.D.A.S.S. will be
considered for administrative positions and entitled to give more S.H.I.T. than they take.
Bure Karamon ka fal
Once three friends....Clinton Lallu and Atal ji go 2 heaven..
There they meet god...immediately Clinton and Lallu see that Atal ji is having sex with a jamadarni [sweeper] Clinton and Lallu are confused they ask god bhagwaan yeh kya hua Atal ji was such a good leader how come hes havin sex with a sweeper.
God told them yeh unke bure karamon ka fal hai...then Lallu sees the same thing happens with Clinton and god replies yeh Clinton ke bure karamon ka result hai..
Then both Clinton and atal see Lallu havin sex with Aishwarya rai...they are shocked they yell at bhagwaan humko jamadarni aur is ko Aishwarya bhagwaan tells them to relax because woh Aishwarya rai ke bure karamon ka result hai.
More Adult Hindi Jokes
To: All staff
This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a native shopkeeper say, "You foreigners! Come in.
Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in.
The Indian man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but
her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Indian man replied, "Just try dem on, Sahib." The husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years-raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye, the husband pushed his wife out of the way, grabbed the Indian man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man's pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Indian's thighs. The Indian then began screaming, "WAIT!!! WAIT!!! WAIT!!!! YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"
A Zamindar's whose Son has just turned 18, catches the boy sneak home late one night. Upon questioning him about his nocturnal activities he gets the following response.
"bapu, tu budha ho gaya hai, main jawan chorion ke saath maze le raha tha"
The Zamindar Challenges the boy, "Are chore, mai bhi tera baap hoon, agli baar mujh ko apni ungli ke mehak de dena, chori ki life history bata doonga " (let me smell your finger next time- and I'll tell you all about the girl you were with)
The next day the son comes home and makes the Father Smell his finger. "Ram Pyari, gali number 14, bade mamme wali etc.. etc.." Gives him all the details of this chick he was humping by just smelling his finger.
"Kalawati, etc.. "
This exercises carries on all week, and the Son is unable to stump his father, who it appears has humped all the women in the village so many times that he can identify them by their scent.
A week later the Son; who is extremely dejected, spends the evening drinking with his friends - lamenting. This whole experience has squashed his ego, it is something he did not expect from his old man.
He is staggering home drunk, when he remembers the challenge with his dad. Not having done anything that night, he dips his finger into a goat's **** at a neighbors farm. He then goes home and says to his father:
"Are bapu, yeh le sungh, aur bata ke mai kis ke sath tha"? (lets see if you can identify this one)
The Zamindar smells his son's finger, and is confused. But he seems quite happy at last and shouts out to his driver.
"Ram Singh- Gadi nikalo, Gaon me naya maal aaya hai"