Wany to try this
This guy goes into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He plops the crocodile on the barstool, taps on his snout, and as the crock opens wide, he unzips his pants and lays his tool in the crock's mouth. The old crockodile remains perfectly still, mouth open, sharp teeth in place.
The guy says to the bartender, "Brings me a drink." The bartender says, "Anything, man, but that is terrible. Please get your dick out of the crocodile's mouth. Anything man! He is gonna snap shut on you."
"Gimme another drink," says the man. "Sure," says the bartender, "Anything you say, but get your dick out of the crocodile's mouth!"
People are gathering around to watch by this time. Finally, the guy has a last drink, all on the house, and takes his tool out of the crocodile's mouth, draws it in, zips up his pants.
"Anybody else wany to try this?" he asks. A little fag at the end of the bar shouts out, "Yes-s-sh, I would, but I don't know if I could keep my mouth open that long!"
More Bar Jokes
This big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big, hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender! I want to buy that ballerina a drink!" The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down.
After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit, saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!" After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and says, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"