A Poem

Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's between,
I like your style,
I like your class,
But most of all I like your ass,
I am a cool girl, in a cool town.

It takes a real man to put me down,
Kissing is a sport,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.

Guy says I love you,
You believe it's true,
Nine months later,
He says: "To hell with you!"

The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore,
All this wouldn't have happened,
If the rubber hadn't torn.

Sex is when a guy's communication,
Enters a girl's information,
To increase the population.
For a younger generation,
Do you get the information...
Or do you need a demonstration?

Roses are red,
Violets are corney,
When I think of you,
Ohh baby I get horney,

Eat me, beat me,
Blow me, suck me,
Fuck me, very slowly,
If you kiss me,
Don't get me sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!

More Sexy Jokes

First time shopper

A women goes to buy a bra for the first time.

So she had no idea what size would fit her so she asked for the largest size. It was too big for her so she asked for a medium size. Again, it didn't fit her. So she asked for small size and again it didn't fit her. Then she asked for the smallest size but again it didn't fit her.

Then she asked the shopkeeper to suggest some idea. The shopkeeper asked her to wait for a minute and he went away to some other shop. He returned back and said " here!! This is sophromycine.... For blisters.


All eyes turned to stare as a gorgeous lady walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her.

"Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"This is it," she calmly explained. "I came as Adam."

"Adam?" her host exploded. "You don't even have a dick!"

"I just got here, Amigo," she replied. "Give me a few minutes."

Speciality of babies

This story comes from London, England.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off dear, the man should be here soon."

Half-an-hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam.

I've come to........"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you", Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really"? The photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well. Where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too, you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot of..........." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it", Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my goodness!!!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" Asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so, I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, um....equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod????"

Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?......Goodness, she's fainted.

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