My first time ever

My first time ever

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.

Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.

At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.

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A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud. They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

A Poem

Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's between,
I like your style,
I like your class,
But most of all I like your ass,
I am a cool girl, in a cool town.

It takes a real man to put me down,
Kissing is a sport,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.

Guy says I love you,
You believe it's true,
Nine months later,
He says: "To hell with you!"

The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore,
All this wouldn't have happened,
If the rubber hadn't torn.

Sex is when a guy's communication,
Enters a girl's information,
To increase the population.
For a younger generation,
Do you get the information...
Or do you need a demonstration?

Roses are red,
Violets are corney,
When I think of you,
Ohh baby I get horney,

Eat me, beat me,
Blow me, suck me,
Fuck me, very slowly,
If you kiss me,
Don't get me sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!

First time shopper

A women goes to buy a bra for the first time.

So she had no idea what size would fit her so she asked for the largest size. It was too big for her so she asked for a medium size. Again, it didn't fit her. So she asked for small size and again it didn't fit her. Then she asked for the smallest size but again it didn't fit her.

Then she asked the shopkeeper to suggest some idea. The shopkeeper asked her to wait for a minute and he went away to some other shop. He returned back and said " here!! This is sophromycine.... For blisters.

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