Loose more pounds

Loose more pounds

A 450-pound man answers a "Lose a Pound for Every Dollar" classified ad. The receptionist asks him how much he wants to lose, and he says, "Let's try just 25 pounds to start."

So she tells him to go down the hall to room A3, take off his clothes, and then go in. When he enters, there's a pretty brunette who tells him, "If you catch me, you can make love to me." He soon catches her, makes love to her and discovers that he's lost 25 pounds.

The next day, he decides he'd like to lose 100 pounds. The receptionist tells him to go upstairs, take off his clothes outside room B4, and then enter. When he does, there's a pretty blonde who tells him, "If you catch me, you can make love to me." He chases her for quite a while but finally catches her, makes love to her and discovers he's lost 100 pounds just as promised.

The fat man eagerly return the next day and announces he'd like to lose 200 more pounds. The receptionist admits that's a tall order but tells him to go up to the third floor, take off his clothes outside room C10, then go in. When he does, there's a 500-hundred-pound gorilla who has a sign around his neck reading, "If I catch you, I'm going to f&(* you."

More Sexy Jokes

My first time ever

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.

Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.

At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.


A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud. They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

A Poem

Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's between,
I like your style,
I like your class,
But most of all I like your ass,
I am a cool girl, in a cool town.

It takes a real man to put me down,
Kissing is a sport,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.

Guy says I love you,
You believe it's true,
Nine months later,
He says: "To hell with you!"

The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore,
All this wouldn't have happened,
If the rubber hadn't torn.

Sex is when a guy's communication,
Enters a girl's information,
To increase the population.
For a younger generation,
Do you get the information...
Or do you need a demonstration?

Roses are red,
Violets are corney,
When I think of you,
Ohh baby I get horney,

Eat me, beat me,
Blow me, suck me,
Fuck me, very slowly,
If you kiss me,
Don't get me sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!

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