Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Pakistani Maths Question Paper
Math Exam Time : 3 hours
Maximum Marks : 100
All questions are compulsory.
i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii) Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda.
iii) AK 47's and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.
1) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem ! with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786, instead of 3.14.....), (if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.)
2) Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wives in his house. Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve?
3) Karim is a drug seller. Prices per gram of marijuana, hasish, heroine and LHD are 50, 60, 70, 80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buy more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim, a buyer gets Rupaye 7 discount per gram, find out the grams of LHD he bought ?
4) Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time. Find the percentage deformation of the ball due to tampering in a one day series match against India in which Imran bowled 9.4 overs ?
5) Mohammed has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are businessman in Delhi, 20% are cricket players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepers in Calcutta . If ISD charges are Rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month, find out the number of cinema stars in Mumbai, threatened in that particular month ?
6) A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47, one Ak 49, one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Rugroots after training. One Ak 47 costs 100$; one Ak 49 costs 150 $, a Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 50 $, a grenade is for 3 $ per piece, a pack of RDX Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are lost or shunted out while training.Find the amt. of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt. has to provide each year to run such a group ?
7) If stability of a democratic Govt. in Pakistan is given by the following equation :-
X exp3 + X exp2 -16 = i; Find out X ?
8) Probability of a Pakistani President to be shot is 78 %.Probability of a Military General to be shot is 42%. Find the joint probability of a President to be shot who is also a Military General ?
9) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR ?
More Funny Jokes
Teacher: 'What is your name?'
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
Customer: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Sales girl: The fiction books are on the other side, sir.