Job Performance

Job Performance

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: The boy asked," Lady, Can you Give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn." Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn. The little boy found more perseverance and offered," Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm beach, Florida." Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to all, this, walked over to the boy and said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and, would like to offer you a job." The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

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Funny Equations

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Men = Donkeys + earn money

Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Women = Donkeys + spend

Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
========= ========= ========= =========

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together

Say prayers before eating

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Pakistani Maths Question Paper

Math Exam Time : 3 hours
Maximum Marks : 100

All questions are compulsory.

i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.

ii) Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda.

iii) AK 47's and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.

1) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem ! with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786, instead of 3.14.....), (if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.)

2) Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wives in his house. Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve?

3) Karim is a drug seller. Prices per gram of marijuana, hasish, heroine and LHD are 50, 60, 70, 80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buy more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim, a buyer gets Rupaye 7 discount per gram, find out the grams of LHD he bought ?

4) Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time. Find the percentage deformation of the ball due to tampering in a one day series match against India in which Imran bowled 9.4 overs ?

5) Mohammed has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are businessman in Delhi, 20% are cricket players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepers in Calcutta . If ISD charges are Rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month, find out the number of cinema stars in Mumbai, threatened in that particular month ?

6) A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47, one Ak 49, one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Rugroots after training. One Ak 47 costs 100$; one Ak 49 costs 150 $, a Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 50 $, a grenade is for 3 $ per piece, a pack of RDX Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are lost or shunted out while training.Find the amt. of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt. has to provide each year to run such a group ?

7) If stability of a democratic Govt. in Pakistan is given by the following equation :-
X exp3 + X exp2 -16 = i; Find out X ?

8) Probability of a Pakistani President to be shot is 78 %.Probability of a Military General to be shot is 42%. Find the joint probability of a President to be shot who is also a Military General ?

9) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR ?

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