"8 secrets of success" U can find in your room....
1.ROOF says - Aim high
2.FAN says - Be cool
3.CLOCK says - Every minute is precious
4.MIRROR says - Reflect before u act
5.CALENDER says - Be up to date
7.DOOR says - Don't miss the opportunity
8.BED says - SAB BAKWAS HAI, MAST CHADAR ODHO AUR SO JAO.
Teacher - Itne din se kaha the?
Student - Bird flu ho gaya tha.
Teacher - Par ye to Birds mein hota hai insaano mein nahi.
Student (Gusse mein) - Insaan samjha hi kahan aapne... roz to Murga bana deti ho.
A man in temple left a notice,
"Don't steal my shoes - Boxing Champion"
When he returns, he sees shoes missing, with a notice,
"Don't try to catch me, - Olympic Race Champion".
1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax
6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!
19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!
21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!