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Remembering Old Days

Remembering Old Days

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth.

He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: "May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college."

A young man opened the door and let him in. The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.

He said, "The same old room, the same old wooden table, the ventilator and the same old window that opens to the garden. And the same old bed."

When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.

The young man got alarmed and said, "Don't mistake me. She is my cousin. She dropped her earring and is searching for it." The old man said, "and the same old story!!"




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Simple Explanation

The mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found ?

Yes, your daughter, my wife , with a guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she didn't receive your E-mail !"

Number of Dependents

Tax return form has been sent back..

My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question for "Number of dependents on you?".

I replied : 65% of population who doesn't pay taxes,
2.1 million illegal Immigrants,
9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons,
and above all 769 Idiots in parliament.

They said this was not an acceptable answer ..!!

I am still wondering... Who the hell did I miss out ?

Tax Structure in India

Tax Structure in India funny But True.

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!

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