Oh my God

Co-pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off.

"Thank you for flying with us this morning. The weather is....." When suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers.

"Oh my God!" "OMG" "OMG" This is going to hurt....Its burning"

A ghostly Silence reigned, He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers.

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but the air hostess just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap... you should see my pants from the front"

A passenger replies, "Why don't you come here and see our PANTS FROM BEHIND"!

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Remembering Old Days

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth.

He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: "May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college."

A young man opened the door and let him in. The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.

He said, "The same old room, the same old wooden table, the ventilator and the same old window that opens to the garden. And the same old bed."

When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.

The young man got alarmed and said, "Don't mistake me. She is my cousin. She dropped her earring and is searching for it." The old man said, "and the same old story!!"

Simple Explanation

The mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found ?

Yes, your daughter, my wife , with a guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she didn't receive your E-mail !"

Number of Dependents

Tax return form has been sent back..

My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question for "Number of dependents on you?".

I replied : 65% of population who doesn't pay taxes,
2.1 million illegal Immigrants,
9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons,
and above all 769 Idiots in parliament.

They said this was not an acceptable answer ..!!

I am still wondering... Who the hell did I miss out ?

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