Phool wala: Sahab yeh phool apni girlfriend ke liye lelo.
Santa:Meri koi girlfriend nahi hai.
Phool wala: To phir apni mangetar ke liye hi lelo.
Santa: Woh bhi nahi hai.
Phool wala: To phir apni biwi ke liye hi lelo.
Santa: Meri biwi bhi nahi hai.
Phool wala: To phir aye duniya ke sabse khush-kismat insaan, meri tafar se yeh phool tere liye.
Game Show Host: Agar aapki biwi aur saas par koi tiger hamla kar de to aap kisko pehle bachaayenge?
Pappu: Beshak tiger ko, aakhir bechare bache hi kitne hain.
Husband : What would you do if I won the lottery?
Wife: I would take all money and leave you
Husband: Good I won $12, take it and get lost.
How a man's situation changes:
Before marriage: Hero No. 1
After marriage: Coolie No. 1
Before marriage: I'm in love
After marriage: Why did I fall in love!
Before marriage: Jaan-e-man mat jao
After marriage: Jaan mat khao
Before marriage: Can't live without you
After marriage: Can't live with you
Before marriage: Kuchh to bolo
After marriage: Kabhi chup bhi ho lo
Before marriage: I love you
After marriage: Aaj phir aaloo
And the best one..
Before marriage: Milne kab aaogi
After marriage: Maaike kab jaaogi.