Angels Singing

Angels Singing

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out.

He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.

When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice.

"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"

"Why reverend." the young woman replied, "all of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."

"Hmm. Well let me check," said the reverend, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said.

"I don't hear any angels singing!"

"Of course not reverend." she said. "You're not plugged in yet."

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No fuck no ride

A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up. The driver asked, "Hey, little lady, need a lift?"

"Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station."

The driver replied, "OK, but first you have to fuck me! No fuck, no ride."

She said, "I'm sorry, I don't need a ride that badly."

So the driver pulled away. All this time, the driver had a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot started saying, "No fuck, no ride! No fuck, no ride!"

The driver said, "You had better shut up, bird, or I'm gonna throw you in back with the chickens!"

About two miles down the road, the parrot said, "No fuck, no ride!" So the driver slammed on the brakes and threw him in back with the chickens!

About two more miles further down the road, the driver heard sirens and saw flashing lights, so he pulled over. He got out of the truck and approached the officer. "What's the problem, officer.

I wasn't speeding was I?"

The officer said, "I wasn't pulling you over for speeding. I just wanted to inform you that you have a parrot throwing chickens out the trailer screaming,

"No fuck, no ride! No fuck, no ride!"

Bra Meaning

Q:) What is the meaning of a bra?

A:) Under sholders holding bolders.

Math Tuition

Q: How does a boy teach a girl Maths?

A: First, he ADDS her to his Bed,
Next, he SUBTRACTS her clothes,
Then, he DIVIDES her legs,
And then, he MULTIPLIES!

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