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Political language

Political language

A husband and wife are campaigning for a friend who is contesting the local elections. They both become so busy that they do not think of anything else but about the elections so much so that they communicate about anything in political language.

One night the husband wants to have sex desperately, but seeing the wife busy doing some work, goes to her and says : I want to put my candidate in your legislature.

The wife not realising this was meant for something else, without raising her head says : Our party is not going to accept this. The husband is disappointed and he goes to sleep.

After some time the wife realises what the husband meant, so she wakes him up and tells him - Darling, now you can put your candidate in my legislature.

Husband : I cannot do that. My candidate stood independent and lost his deposit.




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Who Enjoys It Better?

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.

"Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Small pe**s

Q:) What do you call a man with a small penis?
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A:) Justin

Wax for candles

There was once a man and his dog, who were stranded on an island. One day, the man was really desperate and wanted to have sex real bad, so he went round the island, hoping to find a woman or something, except for a barrel.

So with that, he poked a hole through the middle of the barrel and screwed till he was satisfied. Ever since then, he used that to fulfil his sexual desires.

One day, his dog, had the sexual urge too, so it decided to use the method that its master have been using. So the two of them used the barrel until they died.

About 50 years later, the island was founded by a group of old nuns and they built a nunnery there. One day the Chief Nun found a certain barrel which contained a loadful of wax, so she took it and made them into candles.

The candles were then used to light up the nunnery in the dark until one day, a nun got naughty and decided to satisfy herself with the candles. She throughly enjoyed herself from it. However 10 months later, she rushed into the Mother Superior's room and said, "I've got to confess, I used the candle to satisfy my inner desires 10 months ago and now I have a baby."

Mother Superior then replied, "You're more fortunate my child, *I've* got a puppy...!!"

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