Once there is this jungle wherein all the male animals are hardcore sex maniacs. All time, every hour of the day, they used to have sex.

All the females got annoyed with their husband's behavior and decided to go to the maharaja for help.

The maharaja was kind enough to give a relief period of 2 months to the females, he called every male and cut their dicks off and gave each one a coupon. The coupon said 'COME AFTER 2 MONTHS AND GET YOUR DICKS IN EXCHANGE OF THIS COUPON'

Now there was this female monkey who started to tease her husband by saying "Darling I am hot today please come and have sex" this continued till 45 days and then the male monkey was pissed and replied "Darling wait for 15 days and then ill screw you royally as I just flicked the elephants coupon"

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3 Questions

Q:) What did the prostitute say to the man who couldn't get an erection?
A:) "No hard feelings?"

Q:) What do you get when you recycle 365 used rubber condoms?
A:) A "Goodyear"

Q:) What's the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A:) When the baby look like the father, its Biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, its Sociology!

Pissed off

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!"

"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.

"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home, and we stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door.

So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on. "When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak'.

And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head.

"No wonder you're in a lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really really got to me." Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land ? "My damned forehead !"

"Damn, that really is a drag !" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to make a dump. Turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !"

The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that myfeet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

Doctor's words

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself.

His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words.

As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

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