Wife goes to a doc and asks crys out for help."doc, doc..my husband is 300% impotent"
Doc says" I don't understand 300%?"
Wife says "u know about the first 100%, now he!s gone and cut his finger and burnt his tongue!
More Medical Jokes
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my balls."
A flat chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the
top of your nipples and say, 'Scooby dooby dooby, Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies.'"
Every day faithfully she would rub the top of her nipples and say, "Scooby dooby dooby, Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies." After several months, it worked! She grew larger breasts, just as she wanted!
One morning she was running late and in her rush to leave for work, she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her breasts and didn't want to lose them, so she sat up straight there on the bus and said as quietly as she could, "Scooby dooby dooby, Scooby dooby dooby. I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Say, by any chance do you go to Dr. Smith?"
"Why, yes, I do. What makes you ask?"
"Hickory dickory dock!"
Queen Elizabeth was visiting a hospital, and during her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my God", said the queen, "that's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"
A doctor explained: "I'm sorry your majesty, but this man has a very serious condition. His testicles are constantly over-full of semen. If he doesn't
masturbate at least 5 times a day, he'll be in excruciating pain.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said the Queen. "I was unaware that such a medical problem existed."
On the same floor, they then pass a room in which the Queen could clearly see a young nurse sucking a patient's cock!"
"Oh my God!" the Queen shrieked. "What's going on in there?!" The doctor explains: "Same problem, better health plan!"