Barrack's door open...

Barrack's door open...

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open. "This is not a phrase we men normally use so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was who told him about his "barracks door."

He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her attention?"

The lady thought for a moment and said, "No, no. I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffle bags!!!

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2 Firemen

A fire dept just finished putting out a big house fire when the fire chief noticed two of his men were missing. After a while of searching he found them around back behind some shrub bushes having anal sex.

"What in the hell are you two doing?" the chief yelled. "Chief, I found him laying in the kitchen floor. He was unconscious from the smoke inhalation." the fireman replied.

"Well your not supposed to be doing that! Your supposed to give him mouth to mouth!" the chief screamed.

"Yeah I know", said the fireman. "That's kinda how this shit got started"

A Bet

A slimy fellow proposed a one dollar bar bet to this drop dead sexy girl.

Despite her dress being buttoned to the neck, the bet was that he should touch her breasts without touching her clothes. Since this didn't seem remotely possible, the girl accepted the bet.

The guy stepped up, cupped his hands around her breasts and squeezed firmly.

With a baffled look, she said, "Hey, you touched my clothes" to that the guy replies "Okay. I owe you a dollar."


Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, 'Sure.'

About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. They all laugh. The guy says, 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.' So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached.

Jack gets all excited and says, 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?' The hit man replies, 'Sure.' So Jack looks and says, 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife. Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked too!'

This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would be for a hit. The hitman replies, 'I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger.' Jack responds, '$1000? Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife.'

The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope. He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack starts to get really impatient and asks, 'What are you waiting for? The hitman replies, 'Relax..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!'

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