Sex Problem

Sex Problem

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack, "Tell me about your average day". "Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".

"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on", said the man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No no no", he said. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".

"Now I understand", said the patient doctor. "No, hang on", said the bloke.

"When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".

Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..". "No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".

"What's your problem?". asked the doc.

"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

More Sexy Jokes

Three nights in a row

The Madam opened the brothel door to see a gentleman. "Can I help you?" the madam asked.

"I want Natalie," the man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."

"No, I must see Natalie."

Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night, he appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit. Again, the man took out the money, the two went up to the room, and an hour later, he left.

When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again, he handed Natalie the money, and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour, Natalie questioned the : "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."

"Yes, I know," said the man. "Your father died, and I'm your sister's attorney.

She asked me to give this $3,000 to you."

Banana Love Cake

Ingredients: 2 whole nuts, 1 large banana, 2 strong arms, 2 well shaped legs, 1 fur lined mixing bowl, 4 loving eyes.

Mixing instructions: Look into eyes, part legs. Gently squeeze milk jugs. Continue until bowl is well greased. Add banana, top with nuts. Move in and out until cake is well creamed. Sigh with relief, let cool. Do not lick the bowl. If cake starts to rise, get out of town FAST!

Erection problem

A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection.

"Sergeant-Major!" the colonel shouted. "Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave."

"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replied.

A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man.

"Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate home leave," the Colonel barked.

A few months later, same guy, same problem.

The Colonel is angry. "Sergeant-Major! Haven't we given this man two compassionate home leaves?"

"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replies.

"Then what's his problem, Sgt. Major?" the Colonel asks.

The Sgt. Major salutes and says, "Sir. It's you he's fond of!"

Show More Sexy Jokes