Chicken and a Baby

Chicken and a Baby

Q:) What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?

A:) Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

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Girl & Bulb

Q ) Why the similarity between a Girl and a Light Bulb?
A) They both can be turned on.......
Q)..............so where's the problem?????
A) The girl can't be turned off

Q) Whats another similarity between them?
A) They both need to be screwed.
Q) .............so where's the problem????
A) Once your done with the screwing, you can't unscrew the damn bitch!

Q) Whats the best part about a bulb compared to a girl???
A) When they're overworked they just pop and you chuck em out & go get a new one......with your bitch, you just don't have that choice.

Q) So why is it that Guys still choose the girl over the bulb?
A) Ever tried shoving your dick up a glass bulb?

Sex Problem

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack, "Tell me about your average day". "Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".

"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on", said the man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No no no", he said. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".

"Now I understand", said the patient doctor. "No, hang on", said the bloke.

"When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".

Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..". "No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".

"What's your problem?". asked the doc.

"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

Three nights in a row

The Madam opened the brothel door to see a gentleman. "Can I help you?" the madam asked.

"I want Natalie," the man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."

"No, I must see Natalie."

Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night, he appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit. Again, the man took out the money, the two went up to the room, and an hour later, he left.

When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again, he handed Natalie the money, and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour, Natalie questioned the : "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."

"Yes, I know," said the man. "Your father died, and I'm your sister's attorney.

She asked me to give this $3,000 to you."

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