Sex maniac

Sex maniac

A newly wed lady writes a letter to her mother for the first time after her marriage.

This is how the letter went:

Dear mom,
I'm happy here but danny troubles me a lot, he is such a sex maniac that he makes love to me all the time, while washing clothes, while bathing, while cooking,etc.

He doesn't give me time to rest at all.

Love ya,

p.s. please excuse the jerky handwriting

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Chicken and a Baby

Q:) What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?

A:) Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

Girl & Bulb

Q ) Why the similarity between a Girl and a Light Bulb?
A) They both can be turned on.......
Q)..............so where's the problem?????
A) The girl can't be turned off

Q) Whats another similarity between them?
A) They both need to be screwed.
Q) .............so where's the problem????
A) Once your done with the screwing, you can't unscrew the damn bitch!

Q) Whats the best part about a bulb compared to a girl???
A) When they're overworked they just pop and you chuck em out & go get a new one......with your bitch, you just don't have that choice.

Q) So why is it that Guys still choose the girl over the bulb?
A) Ever tried shoving your dick up a glass bulb?

Sex Problem

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack, "Tell me about your average day". "Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".

"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on", said the man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".

"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No no no", he said. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".

"Now I understand", said the patient doctor. "No, hang on", said the bloke.

"When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".

Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..". "No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".

"What's your problem?". asked the doc.

"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

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