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Some Quickies!

Some Quickies!

1. All men are terrorists. They always attack women on their twin towers and destroy their pentagon.

2. Two sperms are swimming really hard and one asks, "Are we almost at uterus?." "Nah!" says the other, "we just passed the tonsil".

3. A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to go doggy style".

4. Man went to the chemist to buy one fourth Viagra. Chemist said that it would be useless. Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".

5. Secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this? "The truth is that she has a big mouth".

6. A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so sorry... exkooz me pleazo, Front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud".

7. What is common between a swimming pool and a wife - for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.

8. What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology




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A mute story

A deaf-mute strolls into a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. Unfortunately, he can't find the rubbers. Because he doesn't speak, he tries explaining to the pharmacist with his hands, but the pharmacist fails to understand.

Frustrated, the deaf-mute guy unzips his pants, pulls his penis out, and (thud!) drops it onto the counter. Then he lays a five-dollar bill down next to it.

"Ah," says the pharmacist. Smiling, he also unzips his pants and flops his penis on the counter. Then he pockets the deaf man's cash.

The man begins to curse in sign language. "Sorry," says the pharmacist. "If you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble."

Thinking about you

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my body... you sensed my indifference, so you started to bite my body without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me crazy while you sucked me dry.

Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still shows your marks, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you... as soon you appear I will quickly grab you and won't let you go, will hold you with all my strength so you won't disappear. Won't rest until l squeeze your blood out..... you.............you....................

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you..........you fucking mosquito!

The Priest's Rooster

A priest had lost a rooster and didn't know where to find it.

So at the sermon next day he queried "Has anybody got the cock?"
All the men stood up.

"No no I mean has anybody seen the cock?"
All the women folk stood up.

"No no I mean has anybody seen my cock?"
All the nuns stood up!

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