On the wedding day bride's father hands a note to the groom... Which read.."Goods once delivered will not be taken back"

Groom gives a note to the father of the bride that read.... "Guarantee void if seal is broken"

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My Husband is like a...

Three women were talking about their love lives.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce, smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."

Teacher bride

Once a father of three daughter asked a man to marry with any of his daughter. The elder daughter was a teacher, second was a nurse and younger was a telephone operator. The boy met with all girls and decided to marry with elder one.

His friend asked him that "why you have decided to marry with elder one and not younger one ?" The boy replied that look dear, the telephone operator has always a habbit to say, "Please wait, you are in a queue." The nurse has always a hibbit to say, "Relaxe dear, you will be allright", but the teacher has always a habbit to say "REPEATE, REPEATE, REPEATE........"

Wedding Night

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As Emma undressed for bed, the husband (who was a > burly bruiser) tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put > these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right!" said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"

With that, she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on, and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecap. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!"

She said, "That's right and that's the way it's going to be until your goddamned attitude changes!"

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