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In Sveden

In Sveden

At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.

While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."




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First Time

A GIRL'S FIRST TIME!!!

(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)

It's your first time.

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses, but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way, pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle, that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking?

I know what you were thinking!

Garments

A lace brassiere, a pair of pink nylon panties and a silk nightie were hanging on a clothesline shooting the breeze.

Brassiere said: "His big clumsy hands almost squeezed the life out of me."

Panties said : "He almost ripped me apart trying to pull me off."

Nightie said: Both of you please be quite! I am trying to take a nap "I have been up all night".

Lipstick hanging out

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk private matters in public.

At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what say to the little girl himself. then remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table he turns to the little girl and say will you excuse me
I have to go to powder my nose.

And saying so he leaps of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks "Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes" said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox "Well then" says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse, because your lipstick is hanging out.

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