25 useless things

25 useless things

25 useless things in a man:

20 nails
02 nipples that don't milk
02 balls that you cannot play with.
01 cock that does not lay egg.

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My first time ever...

The night was young, the moon was high,
We were alone just she and I.

Her hair was smooth, her eyes bright blue,
I knew just what she wanted me to do.

Her skin was soft, her legs so fine,
I ran my finger down her spin.

I don't know how but I tried my best,
As I placed my hand on her tender breast.

I remembered my fear, my fast beating heart,
And slowly she spread her legs apart.

And when I did it I felt no shame,
I watched in awe as the white stuff came.

At last it's finished, it's all over now.

My first time ever...Milking a cow!

In Sveden

At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.

While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

First Time


(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)

It's your first time.

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses, but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way, pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle, that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking?

I know what you were thinking!

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